The art of framing is very useful in Conversational Hypnosis. Frames are simply a set of standards that all people use to reference things by. They use their frames as a measure to accept or deny a statement, idea or belief. Nothing you say will mean anything unless it is put into some sort of context and this is what frames do for you. Each different frame will mean something different depending on the type of context in which it is displayed.
A speeding car that cuts you off alone may infuriate you. If you attain more information and find out that there is a dying woman in the back seat and they are rushing to the hospital your frame will most likely change.
Frames and controlling them is important in hypnosis because if you have the power of frames in your control you have the power to change the meanings behind any interaction. This means you have the power to change opinions, beliefs and ideas simply by taking control of the frame it is presented in.
Deframing is one of the ways in which you can manipulate the ways in which people view their world or their reality of the world. In deframing you will not take a challenge or objection to an idea or statement head on but you will offer a counter challenge that is more important or substantial than the objection itself.
Deframing also allows you to ignore the frame in which the person is challenging you and you challenge them in a completely different frame that they were not expecting. In doing this you are still offering a challenge that is more important than the original one, this causes the original objection or challenge to simply disappear. These can happen in various situations including business meetings or simply casual conversations.
One example of a type of deframe you have probably either encountered yourself or seen is something along the lines of this, a friend makes a statement about the jeans you are wearing and maybe you accidentally bought the wrong size due to wishful thinking. Now this is made in a humorous and joking fashion but clearly your friend is criticizing the size of your pants, or what you have put in them.
A classic deframe for this would be to respond by saying, “Maybe I did, but they certainly did not come from your closet.” You both chuckle and the moment is over.
But what did just happened is you took the original idea, brought up by your friend, of your pants being the wrong size and turned it around to suggest that maybe your friend should take a look at his or her own pant size before critiquing yours.
This is a playful type of exchange that takes place everyday and the criticisms are not usually taken too seriously but the sub-communications were still strong enough to tell your friend to back off and stop discussing the size of your bottom. You see how you did not take the challenge head on, you came in from the side and startled your friend with a quick witted come back that took the emphasis off your bottom and put it on theirs.
Now this can be done in a more serious manner as well. If you were looking to hire a person for your company and you ask them, “What makes you think I should hire you for this position?”
A way of deframing this would be instead of vigilantly answering the question to say something to the effect of, “I know my business well and it is not in the area of proving my potential upon first meeting, maybe my services will be better served with another company,” and then getting up to make your exit.
This does two things to the person you are interacting with if they buy into the frame. The first is to give them the assumption that you are extremely talented at what you do and the second is to take the upper hand away and make them want you even more.
The deframing you did here turns the situation around from you wanting the job to the employer wanting you. You have just changed the challenge from one frame to a completely different one; you have made a successful deframe if they buy into and come chasing after you.
Deframing a situation can also be done in a very direct way, such as the sample you just read, or it can be done more indirectly. An indirect way of deframing is to imply a new challenge. Instances where you imply that someone is not man enough to do one thing or woman enough to do another are implications that will change the context of the original challenge presented.